Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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