At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
