Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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