I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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