oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i dont even know how to be here
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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