Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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