I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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