You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize