Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
