My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
