All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
