Someone shit on the floor
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
