It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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