This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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