she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
