Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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