North Korea, Best Korea!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize