yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
