i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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