WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
