I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
