THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
