Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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