Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
