This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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