Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
