so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
