I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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