How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
