This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
