I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
