I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
