I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
