Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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