Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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