FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And then he peed in my hair
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