I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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