physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
