Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want her autograph on my taint
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
