i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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