just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
