We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
