I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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