can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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