I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize