I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
