trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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