OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
