I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
