uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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