Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
