this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
