never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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