I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Shame - the story of my life.
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