dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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