I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Let's paint friendship bongs
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
