Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
