just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
