I wannas sexs uuuuu
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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