Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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