she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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