I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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